I’m sitting here feeling thunder-struck, relieved and mind spinning. I had a teacher-initiated chat with my kiddo's teacher this morning at drop-off about behavior at school yesterday.
We’ve been noticing more at home with bounciness & inability to focus. Still in the observation stage at this point. These are not traits that usually “show” to others outside of home or with grandparents. Others look at us like we are crazy or over-reacting to what they “see” as normal. Even when we describe what happens, most reply that it's just typical toddler. But, we know that’s not the case. We are with them day in and day out to know what typical behavior traits are and when they change/vary. Most of the time they are a very well mannered, polite, considerate, rule-oriented & inquisitive kid.
We know that when there is difficulty listening, making good choices, being physically aggressive (even mildly) and starts flitting about that something has gotten seriously off-kilter. At times it’s because of being overtired. Other times, is having a reaction to something eaten. And some times are a mystery – many possibilities abound for things that may not yet be able to be verbalized to us.
Being extremely rule-oriented & very much liking predictability with the routine. And, yes we know that children in general like/need structure. Our kiddo's need for routine goes beyond the “normal”. I’m feeling relieved that someone outside of family has witnessed a behavior “flare up”. I am sad that it’s happened, but so very happy that it was at school & the teacher(s) were perceptive in picking up on it & handled it very well (in my opinion). The day could have been handled so many different ways, which I know first-hand having worked in education & my husband’s career is in education. In some ways we have a huge leg-up knowing our rights as parents & the inner workings of a school setting. It makes it much easier for the teachers & us to discuss things more openly. We respect the players involved & they know that we will work together as a team in doing whatever is best for our kid. So I’m supposed to get an update at pick-up time about how today goes.
While chatting with the teacher, she wondered if it was food-related, knowing the on-going food issues we are trying to address. I told her that we’ve been noticing this behavior more & more at home. Naps are getting much more sporadic even though obviously tired. She clarified that yesterday’s the first time they witnessed this specific type of behavior. So, my first inclination is wondering about the adverse reaction had to the apple ate on Tuesday. It can take up to a week for things to clear the system. It’s possible that irritant is still working its way out. So we will continue to monitor at school & home.
As for the spinning mind: I’m trying not to beat myself up for not keeping up on the daily logging for the needs that I’d been doing. It gets so consuming that after awhile, I just have to walk away from it to take a mental break. I started logging at 3 months old and we're now at 4 years old. Over the past 4 years I’ve averaged taking a break once a year. It just simply gets to be too much to bear. The most draining part is pouring over the notes trying to find patterns & then having to constantly shift what we are doing in attempts to maintain wellbeing. I’ve been on hiatus from logging for about 4 months now – since I got pregnant & started having to put more energy into my health. I know that I need to get back to the log, but am dreading it. It seems that the log is going to be a constant companion. Guess I need to come to terms with that, accept it and march on.